You called me.
It took you two fucking years but you called me.
I bet you heard my heart stop & start again,
My heart was beating in my ears-
Drowning out an apology I’ve written books around.
I was days away from forgetting the sound of your voice, I just know it;
But it was kinda like hearing my favorite summer love song,
I wasn’t sure if I’d remember the words,
But I found myself singing along.
It was like we picked up right where we left off-
Funny how you always love me in the Summer,
Then forget the way you held me by August.
You held me like I put the fucking stars in the sky,
But then you left.
And you didn’t look back for two years.
And it hurts to remember that-
But I have to,
Because when I heard your laugh I almost forgot,
I almost forgot all the poems I wrote in my blood for you.
I almost forgot the nights I drowned all your words in vodka-
there wasn’t an apology in any of the bottles.
I missed you in ways I can’t put into words.
I ached to my core,
even my bones hurt.
I cried so many tears for you.
I cried when I read what you said to her,
…You said you loved her.
I cried that whole day,
You called me at work,
to tell me you were catching a bus back to her in so many words.
I cried oceans on my way to watch you leave.
You didn’t change your mind. You didn’t come back.
You broke me in ways every man in my future will hate you for.
When I have a daughter one day & I talk to her about heartbreak,
I’ll tell her your name.
You nearly killed me & you didn’t even blink."